Thesis
by xx.just.a.contradiction.xx
Summary: Katie has to write a 500word essay on herself that ends up making her teacher think she needs help. she sends it to oliver who responds to it with some interesting results.


**_Thesis._

* * *

**

_Katie - italics.  
**Oliver - italics/bold

* * *

**__Dear Oliver,  
__Okay, so today the teacher of this new class we're being subjected to – Life Lessons – told us we had to write a 500-word essay on ourselves, right? So, I wrote the stupid essay like she told us and handed it in for her to read or whatever she wanted to do with it – I'm assuming she wanted to read them, because she certainly read mine… And then, this morning when I'm bolting to Charms (twenty minutes late) she stops me in the corridor and says she wants to talk to me about my essay – says she thinks I should see a councillor because apparently, I have "issues"…  
__Yeah.  
__That's what I said...  
__Anyway, I didn't really think there was anything wrong with it (or me, for that matter), but I decided to put it in so you can read it.  
__I have to go now coz Angelina's yelling at me for some reason, but please write back… you've known my entire life and I need to know if I'm insane or not!  
__Love always,  
__Katie.**

* * *

**_

_**Essay – Me, Myself & I.**_

_The name is Katie… Katie Bell…  
I am a constant victim of "bell jokes" and therefore am constantly attempting to murder George and Fred Weasley…I am roughly 5ft6 and consistently feel the need to be taller, as all my friends are taller than me. I love music, can't sing to save myself and am rather partial to dancing around my dormitory in my underwear screeching to some muggle band and annoying the hell out of Ange and Alicia. I have been consistently obsessed with the only boy I've known my entire life and am waiting for the day that a) I finally get over him or b) he actually notices me in **that** way.  
(Ange and Alicia are always saying that they are waiting for said boy to ask me to marry him, but at those particular moments in time I can be found dancing around the vicinity with my fingers in my ears singing a horrendously off-key song, of which its lyrics contain only a single word – 'la'.)  
I am a wallflower; I am incredibly loud – but that's normally to gain myself some kind of attention… (which I rarely get considering my two girl best friends are dating my two boy best friends, which therefore means that they are all off snogging somewhere leaving me by myself…)  
I am constantly laughing. No joke, I seriously am. I laugh when I'm happy, when I'm sad or angry, when I'm hungry, and even when I'm lying seriously injured on the middle of the Quidditch pitch with blood all over me… So yes, I laugh far too often…  
__I love Quidditch and am reasonably good at it – Oliver says I could be brilliant if I spent more time catching and throwing, and less time laughing or cracking jokes. (I normally tell him to get his head out of his arse and to quit ragging on me.)  
__I like winter nights spent by the fire, hanging out with my friends, coffee, a particular boy's smile and the way he twitches his nose while he sleeps, chocolate cake, Quidditch games, and the smell of grass in the morning when its all dewy.  
__I'm a good student, nothing special looks-wise, and am nowhere near the star of the team (we reserve that for Harry, seeing as he's brilliant and all that).  
__I have the tendency to fall asleep in the middle of dawn Quidditch practises and am extremely unreasonable in the morning if I haven't had any caffeine.  
I am a romantic in the disguise of a cynic.  
I look at the world in an entirely different perspective from everyone else.  
__I have never received flowers from anyone, let alone a boy.  
I have only ever had one valentine – Cedric Diggory in first year… That was incredibly unexpected, let me tell you.  
I have a tendency to ramble on about absolutely nothing.  
And also the tendency to spill my guts to people I really shouldn't be spilling my guts to at all…  
__And… I'm out.

* * *

_

_**Dear Kates,  
**__**I hate to break it to you, but… you do have "issues".  
**__**But unlike your teacher, I don't think you need a councillor.  
I think that you need that boy you're in love with to wake up and get a grip on himself and realise he's madly in love with you too… and you know what?  
I think I've managed to arrange that.  
**__**In case you don't understand it, I got the cryptic messages throughout the entire essay and realised exactly who it was… and all I have to say about it is that I love you too. (And that I'm glad you like my smile.)  
**__**I agree that you laugh far too often, but then again, you wouldn't be the Katie I know and love without being that way – you have the best sense of humour (even if I'm not willing to admit it because you normally display it at my expense).  
**__**I would love to prove Angelina and Alicia right by asking you to marry me, but I'm afraid that would be a little unorthodox… but as soon as the time is right, you can count on it. (And on the subject of romance – Cedric Diggory is a pansy-boy and deserves to be slapped about the head and told to get over his prissy self)  
**__**I think your only other problem is your lack of self-esteem…  
**__**Kates, you're beautiful, funny, brilliant at Quidditch and intensely determined.  
**__**What's there to be insecure about woman!  
**__**Have to go – Puddlemere's holding a press conference.  
**_**_Love always,  
_**_**Oliver.  
**__**PS. I hope the flowers got there okay. Haha.

* * *

**_

You like?  
I thought it was different...  
It was inspired by having to do an essay like that myself today, and the idea sort of hit me.  
Love,  
Ash xx


End file.
